Let's be honest here, dudes. We're completely screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We drink too much. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're clueless.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and stopped making excuses?

“2. Meant to Be Fucked by You, Guys”

You guys are about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of shit that gets your blood pumping. No time for pussies here, only those who crave it all. We're talking about getting dirty and feeling every inch of the action.

• Dump that boring stuff you’ve been doing.
• That where the real fun is.
• Get what you deserve: a wild, powerful trip.

You're not begging. We’re just telling you the truth.

dudes: Dude Fuck You know Fucking Now

Look, I'm not Faking it. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Satisfaction. Don't Screw around with Small talk, just Get in there already. I'm Wet and waiting for you to Get down and dirty.

Man up, I know you want to.

Dude! This Bunch of Assholes {Want to Fuck Me|Think They Can Have Their Way With Me

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Get the Message. I've been trying to Be Firm, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Don't Care . It's getting {ReallyOut of Hand.

• I Really Need To Call the Police.
• For Real| This is getting Totally Unacceptable.

I'm Telling You, I just want to Be Left Alone in Safety! Is that too much to ask?

Let's Fire this Straight up Wild

Tonight, we're gonna make it rain. I'm talking about a party for the ages. We gotta crank it up and let loose. I've got {a playlist on fire|epic beats that will make you lose your mind.

We're gonna rage all night long. So, are you ready to party like there's more info no tomorrow?

Let's make this a epic adventure.

Damn It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Liquor is the answer to all problems.
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.